Life as We Know It
by CeffylGwyn
Summary: One-shot for NeonDomino's "The Rom-Com Competition and Challenge". When things go terribly wrong, Hermione Granger and Fred Weasley are left to take care of baby James Sirius Potter. While not entirely terrible, it would certainly help if a bad blind date hadn't left them not talking to one another. Because really, if they're not even talking, how are they meant to raise a child?
**Challenge:** _The Rom-Com Competition and Challenge_ by Neon Domino on Forums

 **Prompt:** _Life As We Know It_ :- Two single adults become caregivers to an orphaned girl when their mutual best friends die in an accident. [Can be loosely based on this]

 **Extra Prompt:** [Dialogue] "I'm leaning towards blind panic myself."

 **Form:** One-shot

 **Rules:** One movie at a time, but multiple submissions allowed; 300 w. min

 **Rating:** T

 **Word Count:** 4664 words

 **Pairings:** Fred/Hermione, mention of Harry/Ginny, mention of George/Angelina

 **Warnings:** Suggestions of death and sexual themes

 **Notes:** AU!Fred's not dead, EWE, I changed the ages around of Roxanne and Fred II to make things a little less confusing.

* * *

Things like this weren't supposed to happen.

It was wrong.

Just plain wrong.

* * *

It had been somewhere between two and three in the morning, the world outside still shrouded with the blue shadows of darkness when Hermione awoke with a start. Suddenly alert she grabbed her wand from her bedside table and pointed it at the silvery essence in front of her. Her hand barely shook. Barely.

Slowly, silver wisps became a creature, and a Lynx with sad eyes sat floating above her bed. It opened its mouth and the voice of Kingsley Shacklebolt spoke to her.

"Hermione, get dressed. Come to the ministry. My office. It is an emergency."

With that the Lynx turned on its haunches and bounded out of her room, straight through a wall, leaving behind only a wisp of memory and Hermione's heart pounding in her chest.

* * *

The fireplace roared with green flames and Hermione stepped out to a room full of red haired Weasley's. She blanched and self-consciously tugged at her wild, uncombed, frizzy hair - the only sign she'd gotten dressed and was out of the house in two minutes.

"Hermione!"

The room chorused her name simultaneously and Hermione relaxed a little. Mr and Mrs Weasley descended upon her immediately, followed by Ron who pulled her into a bearish hug. She smiled into his shoulder and hugged him in return. They were school children no more, and yet their friendship was still just as strong. Even if he still got on her nerves occasionally. He wouldn't be Ron if he didn't.

"What's happened?" Hermione asked, pulling away, "Where's Kingsley?"

Ron frowned, "I don't know, haven't seen him since we got here." he leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Mum's frantic you know-"

Hermione zoned out then, because as Ron leaned over she saw _him._

Lounging casually like they hadn't been called to the Minister's office for an _Emergency._

Oh he really was the worst.

Hermione couldn't help but glare at Fred Weasley with unrestrained loathing.

* * *

 _Three Years Previously_

Hermione glanced at her watch for what must have been the hundredth time.

He, whoever _he_ was, was late.

And if there was one thing she hated, it was when dates, especially first, _blind dates_ were late.

She checked her watch again and the doorbell rang.

Nervously, Hermione smoothed down her hair and checked herself in the mirror. She'd spent over an hour on getting her hair down, not to mention the new dress and heels. As Hermione reached for the door handle she took a deep breath.

Surely Ginny and Harry wouldn't have set her up with someone who was an absolute troll. They were two of her closest friends, surely she could trust them with her love life a little…

Then the front door opened to reveal none other than Fred Weasley and Hermione blinked.

"Oh."

Fred's eyes shot up from the slip of paper in his hand with her address scribbled on it and he stepped back down the step, crumpling the paper in his hand when he saw her. "Oh, it's you." the tips of his ears reddened a little, "I didn't realise you lived here."

Hermione's eyes narrowed slightly at that. "Yes. Yes I do." she replied shortly, "I suppose Ginny and Harry sent you here?" he nodded and she continued, "Very well, let's be off then."

Matter-of-factly, she turned and grabbed her purse, locking her front door on the way out. Suddenly Hermione was unsure of what she was meant to do. She sighed; it seemed her lot and that of the Weasley's was to forever be intwined.

She glanced at Fred out of the corner of her eye, and her forehead crinkled into a frown. The older Weasley twin looked as though he could use a shave, and his shirt looked like one of those horrid Hawaiian ones that had been hit with a splash of orange paint. Hermione almost huffed. He hadn't even tried at all.

What had Ginny and Harry been thinking?

Her mind churned as they walked down the street, but Fred smiled as they reached the apparition point and Hermione decided perhaps she was being a little hasty, not to mention judgemental.

"So, where are we off to?" she asked brightly, determined to make this work, even if this date turned out to be only a one-off.

Fred blinked at her in confusion. "Errr…"

Hermione's eyes narrowed at him. "You did book us a table somewhere didn't you?" she asked slowly, and crossed her arms over her chest at his sheepish expression. "You didn't, did you?"

"I wanted to see if the witch they'd set me up with would be worth the night out." Fred protested lamely and Hermione raised her eyebrow at him.

"So, is she?" Hermione asked dryly.

"Erm." Fred began weakly, "Well…"

Hermione scowled at him. "Wow, thanks for that Fred." she snapped.

He sighed, "Look Hermione, it's a Saturday night, I just want to have some fun, so maybe we should just split for the night." Fred replied with a shrug. "I can hit a bar and…you can go…and do whatever it is you like to do on a Saturday night. You like to read, you can go and read a book…or…something."

Hermione was fuming. She felt like her hair, which she'd so meticulously tamed and pinned up was starting to crackle with her anger. She could almost feel sparks of electricity spitting out the frizzy ends

"Frederick Gideon Weasley how _dare_ you!" she hissed with so much venom Fred actually took a step back. "Fine then. Just a little tip for your next _date._ Maybe don't show up late, maybe put a little bit of effort into your date and maybe, just _maybe_ don't be an absolute _PRAT._ "

She may have been yelling at the end of it, but she didn't care. "Good _night_ Frederick!" Hermione sniped, nose in the air as she spun on her heel and marched back to her front door.

"Yeah, well, I don't know what Harry and Ginny were thinking!" Fred yelled after her as she climbed the stairs to her flat.

"Neither do I! Good. Night." She knew it was immature but she slammed the door after her.

* * *

Hermione was still glaring at Fred, who was ignoring her existence entirely, when the door to Kingsley's office creaked open and the Minister for Magic himself entered. It was then that Hermione realised who was missing.

"Harry, Ginny, where are they?" she asked, even as her arms snaked around her sides, hugging herself tightly as she was wont to do when worried. And right now, Hermione was very worried. She was filled with a foreboding she had not felt for a very, very long time.

The room fell silent at her words, and everyone stared at Kingsley Shacklebolt intently.

He sighed and as he started talking, internally, Hermione started screaming. On the outside she was pale and silent.

Harry and Ginny. Missing. Presumed Death Eater sympathiser attack. Things not looking good. Scene was messy, house was all but destroyed. Teddy and James had been staying with Andromeda Tonks at the time.

Presumed dead.

 _Presumed dead._

Things like this weren't supposed to happen.

It was wrong.

Just plain wrong.

Hermione's world came back into focus at the sound of Molly sobbing. There was so much yelling she could barely think.

"Kingsley!"

It was only when everyone stopped mid-grieving and stared at her, that Hermione realised she had almost screamed it.

She took a deep breath and put a comforting hand on a visibly shaking Ron's arm.

"Kingsley," Hermione began again in a more moderated tone. "I trust you are sending out aurors as we speak?" the Minister nodded, "Well, we do not yet know for certain that they are gone and so we should still hope." she said firmly, holding out her hand to Molly, who took it and squeezed tightly.

"I'll find them, whoever did this!" Ron spoke up beside her, and not for the first time, Hermione was thankful for her friend's passionate loyalty.

Someone cleared their voice from the back of the room, and everyone turned, "I suppose the next question is: what happens to Teddy and James?" Fred said, his voice carrying across the room.

"We can take them!" Molly said without hesitation, her voice quivering a little at the end, "Just until their parents are found of course."

Kinglsey shook his head, "I am sorry Molly, but it's not quite as simple as that." he said quietly, "You see, the Potters left stipulations that should anything happen to then, Teddy should stay with his grandmother and James…should stay with his godparents."

Hermione's heart nearly stopped.

* * *

 _Two Years Previously_

"You're what?"

Hermione grinned at Ginny who was smiling delightedly back at her.

Ginny blushed, "Three months along."

Hermione laughed, "Only six months married too - my you do move quickly." she teased and laughed again at the embarrassment on the younger woman's face.

Ginny stuck her tongue out at her.

They were in Hermione's living room, sipping hot chocolate and pouring over all of the photos from Ginny's wedding. They'd been saying they would sit down and create a proper album for ages but had only just gotten around to doing it.

Hermione picked up one of the whole Weasley family and smiled. Arthur and Molly looked so proud, like all their dreams had come true. Ginny and Harry were smiling at each other like lovesick fools between them, Bill and Fleur were there on the left, Percy and his wife Audrey on the right, Charlie had even made it all the way over from Romania. Hermione was standing next to him and having a laugh at some joke or rather he'd made. Ron was on the right, smiling at his fiancé Sarah Fawcett, her ring glinting on her finger as she looked up at him adoringly. Sarah had been in Hufflepuff with Hannah Abbott. Upon Ron bringing the shorter woman around for dinner for the first time, Hermione had taken an instant liking to her and she was incredibly pleased when Ron finally worked up the courage to propose. Angelina Weasley stood next to Hermione jiggling baby Roxanne in her arms, and George stood between his wife and his twin, an arm slung about either of their shoulders.

Hermione's eyes flicked over the last face in the photograph. Fred was looking between George and the camera, a relaxed smile on his handsome face. Hermione scowled at the picture. If only he wasn't an utter prat. A no good, lousy, total-

"Hermione!"

The dark haired woman looked up with a start to see Ginny mock-glaring at her. "You haven't listened to a word I just said have you?" the younger girl asked bemusedly.

Hermione smiled weakly, "Errrrr…no, sorry."

Ginny sniffed in disdain, "And to think the future godmother of my future child can't even be bothered listening to me when I break the news to her."

Hermione blinked at the red head, "M-m-me? You want me to be their godmother?" she beamed at the younger woman, and squealed, throwing her arms about her friend. "Of course I will!"

"Oh that's wonderful!" Ginny smiled, sighing contentedly, "Oh Harry will be so pleased, you and Fred will be wonderful godparents; our best friend and my favourite brother-"

"Fred? Fredrick Weasley? You asked Fred to be my co-godparent of your child?" Hermione was in shock.

Ginny raised a single, perfect eyebrow at her, "Is there a problem?" she asked dryly, "I mean, I know your date didn't go so well but Fred will be an excellent godfather, he already dotes on Victoire and Roxanne."

Hermione blushed, "I know that." she groused, and it was true, she had to admit he showered his nieces with affection and presents. But that didn't mean we wasn't a total prat. Hermione sighed, "He will be a great godfather to your little Potter."

Ginny laughed, "You don't have to be so morose about it." she said wryly, "In any matter, we best get this thing started - three hours and we haven't even begun yet!"

Hermione laughed.

* * *

Several hours later it was just her and Fred in Kingsley's office. They were more cordial to each other now than they had been years before, but even still, the air between them was thick with tension as they sat waiting for the Minister to go through the details.

From the other side of the desk, Kingsley leaned forward and clasped his hands together, resting his elbows on the table. "Ms Granger, Mr Weasley." he began seriously, "As I mentioned previously the Potters left stipulations that, should anything happen to them before their son's 17th birthday, he was to go into your care."

"But see that's the thing Minister," Fred began, "Hermione and I, we don't- We're not-"

"Mr Weasley, whether you are or you aren't, those are the conditions they put forward. You will either need to fulfil them, or the Ministry will need to organise other options for the child's care."

Hermione gaped at the man across the desk, "But surely Minister, if Fred or I could not care for him, James would go to Molly and Arthur!"

Kingsley shook his head, "The paperwork would be horrendous I'm afraid Hermione." he said quietly, "And you know Mr and Mrs Weasley would be hard pressed to look after a baby day-in, day-out. Even if they have more than enough love in their heart to fit him in."

Silence permeated the air.

It was Hermione who broke it.

"So Fred and I will have to move in together and look after little James." she said, her mind ticking over all the things she would have to do. There was no way James was getting sent off to Merlin knows where.

"It could be worse," Kingsley said, "At least you're not mortal enemies-"

Fred snorted and Hermione whirled on him with a glare.

"Find that funny do you _Freddie._ " she asked, her voice dripping with disdain.

Fred glared straight back at her, "Not really _Hermy_ ," he bit back and she bristled at the name, "I expect we think you should move into _your_ flat rather than mine above the shop. It being an inappropriate place to raise a child and all that."

"Why Freddie you took the words right out of my mouth!" Hermione smiled with exaggerated sweetness, "I'm so glad you agree with me!"

Fred looked like he was about to explode, and Hermione resisted the urge to laugh evilly. Ginny would have been proud of that snip. Suddenly she realised that the chaotic redhead would be moving into her perfect, cosy little flat; that her two closest friends might be gone forever, and in a couple of hours she would be responsible for a tiny being she was in no way prepared for - and the desire to laugh left Hermione completely.

"That's settled then." Kingsley's booming voice broke her from her reverie. "I'll see you both here in-" he looked at the clock on the wall, "Four hours. Go home and get some rest."

* * *

Hermione rubbed her arm anxiously, her eyes occasionally flickering across to the red head beside her. They had mutually agreed, albeit silently, that neither could go home to sleep, and so they stood at the edge of the Thames, watching the rising sun hit the water.

She sighed and for the first time that morning, Hermione had to hold back the tears that threatened to spill. The sunlight rippled across the water, beautiful, just like the day Harry and Ginny married next to the lake at the Burrow. They had been so happy, so full of promise. Hadn't they all been through enough already?

It was too late, Hermione couldn't stop the tears, no-matter how mortified she was to be crying in front of this particular Weasley. It came as a surprise then, when he let out a shuddering sigh of his own, reached out an arm and pulled her closer to him. The tears began to flood, and Hermione found herself sobbing into Fred Weasley's chest as he hugged her like she was the only thing holding him to the earth.

Slowly, Hermione came round, the well inside her drying up, and she pulled away a little, wiping away her tears with the corners of her sleeves. "I'm sorry." she choked out, trying to regain her composure. "I don't usually-"

Fred laughed, "Hermione it's fine." he said quietly, similarly brushing away the wetness from his own eyes "You are human you know." He smiled at her then, it was soft and true, and not full of his usual superiority.

Hermione found herself giving him a small smile in return. She grew serious quickly, she usually did. "This is going to be hard Fred," she said, searching his sad hazel eyes with her own brown ones, and he almost looked ready to argue with her, "But I'm willing to do it, if you are. I have to believe we can. Just like I have to believe Harry and Ginny will come home."

Fred for the first time, had nothing to say. The corner of Hermione's mouth twitched at the thought.

"You're right." he said slowly, and Hermione decided she must have been hearing things, Fred Weasley, agreeing with her? The horror! He looked at her then, and for the first time, she thought he might actually be seeing her. "I know we can do this."

* * *

 _One Month Later_

"Fred you promised you'd watch him tonight! You know this is my first night free in ages!"

"Well I'm sorry I have to work! We're dangerously low on stock storewide and if I don't get started now, we'll not have enough for the long weekend!"

"Can't you ask Lee or George to do it? You _know_ this was important to me!"

"Well I'm sorry that this job is my life and it's important to me!"

They stood almost nose to nose in the living room, yelling at each other.

From the other room James started crying and Hermione glared at Fred a moment longer before storming into the next room to pick up the toddler. Fred trailed after her and crossed his arms, watching as she rocked the small child.

"You're never going to stop his crying like that woman!" the tall wizard said irritably, "Here, one second."

Fred disappeared into his room for a moment and returned with a small fluffy thing.

"Fred I told you not to bring your work home into this flat!" Hermione cried out in exasperation, " _No_ pygmy puffs! I don't want the smell lingering around the house!"

Fred rolled his eyes, "Oh please, you had Crookshanks for years and that Kneazle was _far_ smellier than my little puffs."

Hermione huffed indignantly and opened her mouth to say something but James suddenly stopped crying and stared at the fluffy little thing Fred held in his open palm. The pygmy puff chirruped and hopped across onto Hermione's shoulder and nuzzled into her neck. James let out a gurgling laugh.

Hermione blushed and let out the angry breath she didn't even know she'd been holding.

With that, they were no longer fighting.

"Fine." she said resignedly, "I'll stay with him."

Fred sighed and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. "No. I promised and I should keep it - don't want to be a bad role-model for James now do I?" he said with a small smile.

"But the store-"

"Will survive." Fred said firmly. "I'll just have to work back late for the next few nights."

Hermione blushed, her eyes flickering between James and the man in the doorway. "Thank you Fred." she said quietly, finally meeting his eyes. "It really means a lot."

* * *

"Fredrick Gideon Weasley _what_ have you done now?!"

Hermione was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, hands on her hips and hair crackling with electricity - as it usually did when Fred did something to annoy her.

There, in her - well, 'their' now she guessed - kitchen; Fred was sitting on one of the chairs and the entire room was splattered with sticky green gloop. Not to mention the baby. If you could call the green creature sitting on the table a baby.

James was covered in gloop.

 _Covered_ in it.

Her boys just blinked back at her. Fred smiling roguishly up at her and little James giggling with a wide open mouth, clapping his hands together happily. Hermione tried very hard to maintain her scowl. But they-

Wait.

 _Her_ boys?

James chose the opportune moment to throw some of the gloop at her. Hermione reeled back as it hit her on the cheek. He'd make an excellent chaser, just like his mother, she had no doubt. Fred just stared at her, his eyes sparkling, spoon with even more gloop on it held midair.

"You've got a little something on your face." he said with a snigger.

Hermione raised her brow at him, and pursed her lips. "Says the person covered in- what even is that?"

Fred looked at James and then back at her. "Something nutritious?"

Hermione slowly walked over to him and frowned at the concoction, and then around her once-clean kitchen. "Are you renovating my kitchen without my permission as well?"

"Ahem." Fred said archly, " _Our_ kitchen."

Hermione glared but Fred just grinned back at her. His smile was infectious.

James laughed again and her eyes were drawn back to the happy baby. Hermione smiled then. The little mop of untidy black hair on top of his head was growing every day. Her face fell for a moment and Fred caught the change in her expression.

"They'll find them soon love," Fred said quietly, putting a gentle hand on her arm. "I know they're not lost to us forever, I just know it. It can't be."

Hermione shot him a quick smile in thanks and turned back to James. With a groan, she picked up the wriggling baby, "You need a bath stinky mister!" she cooed and turned towards the bathroom, "You too, James."

Fred's head poked around the corner, "I heard that and I'll have you know I resent the implication!" he yelled after her and Hermione just laughed.

His eyes followed her until she disappeared into the bathroom. He sighed.

* * *

Hermione yawned as she stirred her tea absent-mindedly.

"You look tired Hermione." The blonde witch sitting across from her said critically.

Hermione gave a weak smile, "Tell me about it." she replied with a laugh, "If it's not James,, it's Fred keeping me awake."

Sarah Fawcett raised an eyebrow, eyes twinkling, "And what's Fred doing to keep you up at night?" she asked wickedly.

"What's he not doing…" Hermione huffed, blowing an errant strand of hair out of her face, before she realised the younger woman's insinuation. "Wait. What exactly are you suggesting?"

Sarah wriggled her eyebrows at her and Hermione let out a bark of laughter.

"Wow. No. We don't fight so much anymore but if you're thinking what I think you're thinking - you're thinking wrong." Hermione said firmly.

Sarah sighed, "A girl can hope can't she? Besides you'd make a cute couple." the blonde witch sipped nonchalantly at her tea.

Hermione spluttered on her own drink and glared at the other woman.

* * *

"Hey Gred?"

"Yes Forge?"

"Do you reckon you and Ange could look after James for Hermione and I tomorrow night?" Fred asked from their potions table.

George nodded, "Yeah sure, what's up?"

Fred just shrugged, "Nothing, she just needs a bit of a break is all. She's been pretty tired lately. Comes home late from work and I know that she's been helping the aurors after work."

George nodded sagely, "Of course. Anything to help out." he eyed his twin calculatingly. "You've changed y'know."

Fred's head shot up from his cauldron. "What? How?"

"You're calmer, more content." George replied smoothly. "James has been good for you. Being with Hermione has been good for you."

"I'm not _with_ Hermione." Fred grumbled.

George laughed, "Well you live with her. You're raising a child together. That's pretty 'with' if you ask me."

Fred opened his mouth to reply, but just then his cauldron decided to blow up.

* * *

Hermione rocked James gently on her shoulder. Fred came up behind her and kissed the sleeping baby's curls. Slowly, she lowered him into his crib and Fred pulled the blankets up around his steadily growing form. They stood there, looking down at him for a moment.

"I'm glad you're here with me. I'm still devastated Harry and Ginny are missing him grow up." Hermione said quietly, her voice quivering with sadness. Hesitantly, almost afraid, she slipped her hand into Fred's larger one and looked up at him. "But I am so glad, so very glad I know you better now."

Hazel eyes met brown. "So am I." he said simply.

And then, with very little warning, Fred leaned down and kissed her, and Hermione felt like she was flying.

* * *

"You know, he didn't cry once last night."

"That's probably because you took him to the store yesterday and he didn't have a chance to nap!"

"I really don't know why you're complaining."

"I'm hardly complaining."

"I don't know, that looks like your complaining face Ms Granger."

"Fred Weasley how could you suggest such a thing!"

"Very, very easily." Fred smirked, pulling Hermione closer to him and snuggling into her neck. "Ahhhh. Listen to that glorious silence."

James started to cry.

Hermione groaned and pulled a pillow over her head, "You jinxed it. You can go and check him."

"Arrrrrghhh." Fred flopped onto his back. "Fine. But it's your turn next time he wakes up at four am."

Hermione just grunted at him.

A few minutes later Fred reappeared with James and Hermione shuffled over a little in bed as Fred tucked the small Potter boy in between them. Hermione smiled softly as James grabbed a hold of her index finger in his tiny hand. She looked up to see Fred's eyes on her and he gently brushed her wild hair out of her face.

Hermione worried her lip nervously. "Fred?"

"Yes Hermione?"

"Do you think we can do this?" she said quietly, "If we can't find Harry and Ginny?"

Fred didn't reply for a moment, "Yes. Yes I think we can. I mean, while I love being here with you like this, I'd prefer my sister and Harry were here with us - not in this bed obviously, that would be weird-" Hermione laughed, but grew serious once more when Fred swallowed back emotion, his adams apple bobbing. "But were they not to…return, I would raise James as I think they would have raised him; I'd love him as I know they loved him, and I'd want to do it all with you."

She looked up at him then, "When Kingsley told us about James…what were you thinking?"

Fred frowned for a minute, looking at the once again sleeping baby between them, "I don't remember exactly," he said slowly, "But I'm leaning towards blind panic, myself."

"Oh." Hermione replied, her voice small.

But Fred continued, "I mean, how was I going to resist this gorgeous woman who I'd have to live with and who no doubt hated me after my incredibly callous treatment of her - really sorry about that by the way, don't know what I was thinking." he said dramatically, "You'd have to have been panicked if you were in my position too!"

Hermione laughed, "I didn't hate you!" Fred just stared at her disbelievingly. "Ok maybe there was a slight loathing there for a while. But I didn't hate you! I did however hate that shirt you were wearing on our failed date - that was the ugliest thing I've ever seen."

Fred gasped in mock offence, "How rude!" he sniffed, "I'll make sure to wear it tomorrow. "

"Fredrick Gideon Weasley, don't you dare!"

* * *

 **Closing Notes:** I've never done a prompt or challenge before. But I did it to try and power through this massive writers block I've got going on. I've also never written for the Harry Potter fandom. I feel like I'm treading on sacred ground, however, I've still decided to write my non-canon otp. While I feel that there are a lot of holes throughout this in terms of plot, I think I'm happy enough with how it answered the prompt(s). Are Harry and Ginny found? That's up to you. Perhaps you know what happened to them better than I do. I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed the challenge of writing it. Happy reading and writing all!


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